Worst 10 Films of 2012

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1. The Campaign

A cinematic mess of impeachable proportions which proves the only thing more annoying than a Will Farrell comedy is a Will Farrell comedy with Zack Galifianakis. It even resorts to baby-punching for a cheap laugh.

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2. Red Lights

An all-star train-wreck that has a twist ending so preposterous, it makes M. Night Shymalan’s post-Signs career look Hitchcockian in comparison.  

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3. Les Misérables

Certain to garner multiple Oscar nominations, but I found Tom Hooper’s edit style (whereby the performers belt their lungs out in close-up) to be entirely wrong. 

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4. Mirror Mirror

Tarem Singh’s visual palette can’t disguise ‘Mirror Mirror’ from being Snow White Trash.

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5. The Devil Inside

‘The Devil Inside’ is the sort of the film that would play on an infinite loop in Cinematic Hell. Exorcise your right to skip it!

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6. Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning

I don’t know how this series about cyborg servicemen has been running for two decades. Jean Claude Van Damme is no stranger on my annual Worst Of lists.

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7. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ feels like a parody of a Best Picture nominee – and yet somehow, it was nominated for Best Picture this year. 

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8. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2’ is one of the weaker entries in this insanely popular (but idiotic) franchise. At least, we can say for sure that this is the end.

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9. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

‘The Hobbit’ represents an even greater level of disappointment for ‘Lord Of The Rings’ fans than ‘The Phantom Menace’ did for ‘Star Wars’ fans. This feels like a rough draft to a much better film.

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10. The Bourne Legacy

‘The Bourne Legacy’ is not about Jason Bourne, and Jeremy Renner even looks like he’s silently asking himself why this movie was ever made. This is as unnecessary a sequel as there ever was this year.

The Devil Inside

Dear readers, Happy New Year! It turns out the first major release of 2012 might just end up being my pick for the worst movie of the year. ‘The Devil Inside’, directed by William Brent Bell, opens with a disclaimer stating that “the Vatican did not endorse this film nor aid in its completion.” I can’t think anyone who would endorse this film. ‘The Devil Inside’ follows what now seems to be the overused “found documentary” footage format. It’s 1989 and Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) murdered two priests and a nun when an exorcism was performed on her. Fast forward to twenty years later, and we see Maria’s daughter, Isabella Rossi (Fernanda Andrade). She’s working on a documentary about exorcisms and decides to travel to Rome to see if her locked-away mother is mentally ill, or demonically possessed. She manages to get two priests, Ben (Simon Quarterman) and David (Evan Helmuth) to help her out. They operate outside the Church, trying to help people that the Church won’t. And, of course, Isabella and Michael capture all this with multiple video cameras.

Where do I begin with what went wrong here? ‘The Devil Inside’ doesn’t even feel like it was directed. The camera is unnecessarily shaky during its entire runtime. I understand the “Bourne-effect”, but is this technique necessary for scenes where characters are sitting down to have a conversation? Was the camera held by someone suffering from Delirium Tremens? Also, if you’re an exorcist and your test subject has the strength of superwoman, would you impose minimal restraints on her for comfort’s sake? Similarly, would you place a (potential) test subject in the backseat of a moving car? And if so, would you actually perform an exorcism in the backseat?

Back in 1973, there was a great movie on exorcism called ‘The Exorcist’. You may have heard of it. Many films since have replicated the formulae of this picture to scare viewers out of their wits (ok, more importantly, capitalize on its success at the box office). Many have failed, and this is no exception. There isn’t an ounce of originality to be found within ‘The Devil Inside’. Let’s take a look at the Exorcism subgenre film handbook. The demon knows the darkest secrets of those in the room – check! Painfully contorted bodies during the exorcism – check! Foul language spewing out of innocent mouths – check!

After an incredibly dull 85 minutes, the film picks up in its last two minutes, before providing us with the worst ending in the histories du cinema. Ben and Michael are in a moving car with an unconscious Isabella in the backseat (oh shush about spoilers, I don’t want you to see this movie). She regains consciousness and appears possessed via transference. This leads to a struggle between the three in the vehicle and the film ends with the car speeding into oncoming traffic, headlong into another car. The camera cuts to black, and we hear the impact of the vehicular entanglement. We’re then told to visit a website (www.therossifiles.com), and read that “The Rossi case not yet been solved.” The End. There is no resolution, no closure to the story. Never before has a film felt more like a cop-out.

And now I tell a tale out of school. Press screenings, at least the ones I’ve attended, work as follows: Most of us watch the movie with a critical eye since we’ll have to write about it afterwards. Some take notes. The audience leaves in silence at the end of the film. There is very little dialogue about the experience between individuals – we don’t want to steal our colleagues’ ideas. Not the case with this screening. ‘The Devil Inside’ is a perfect example of a uniter. The audience collectively booed out lout at the close of the picture. People congregated in the lobby and openly shared their thoughts on the film. Everyone was in full agreement. I can’t recall a single positive remark. The “at least it was in focus” defence doesn’t even hold here.

But, of course, I have to say something favourable about ‘The Devil Inside’. The marketing behind this film was brilliant. Kudos to the individuals who assembled this trailer – they managed to find about sixty seconds of effective material consisting of creepy blind nuns, demonic screams, and sliced lips. In doing so, they were able to lure horror fans in for what they were expecting to be a real slice of heavenly hell. Prior to the screening, I skimmed over a few related tweets – mostly about users’ high level of anticipation and excitement for the film. My favourite one came from my friend, Mel Ward (@busychyld), who was seated next to next to me in the theatre. “I have a feeling that I’m about to see one of the scariest movies ever!” she said. Sorry, Mel. Not this time. ‘The Devil Inside’ is the sort of the film that would play in an infinite loop in Cinematic Hell. Exorcise your right to skip it!

– Jerry Nadarajah